Posts Tagged ‘pregnancy’

6 Things Pregnancy Books Don’t Tell You

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Because it’s been a hot minute since the last go around, I’ve been checking out a ton of pregnancy books from the library. Most all of the books are written for a first-time mother’s perspective, but I read them anyway. One of my favorites when pregnant with Wes is Pregnancy Day By Day, and it’s since been revised and updated 3 times. How can THAT much change in 7 years?! At any rate, I checked it out again.

There’s plenty of great advice and information out there, but I noticed there’s still a lot these books don’t talk about. Maybe because it’s too personal or maybe because it just happens to me, but this is straight-talk for pregnant moms to be. Here’s a few of what the books don’t tell you:

Nose Whistling
What they say: You may experience congestion or excess saliva while pregnant.

What they don’t say: You may wake yourself or your partner multiple times per night from a weird whistling sound. It may take you a few seconds in your sleepy stupor to realize it matches your breathing pattern and therefore is coming FROM YOUR NOSE. Dried up boogers cling to the inner walls of your nostrils, and since you’re breathing heavier during pregnancy anyway, the strong wind howls across those ridges and makes an annoying woo. You have to get up, get a tissue and clean your nostrils well or it will happen again and you can’t concentrate on anything else.

Road Map Veins
What they say: Your body is producing up to twice as much blood volume, which may give your skin a healthy “glow.”

What they don’t say: Your blood vessels may expand so much, that if you have pale skin, it will be very noticeable across your neck and chest. It may look like an unattractive GPS route, which is sure to be a lovely sight in the warmer months.

Wardrobe Malfunctions
What they say: You may not need maternity clothes for a while and can adjust your normal clothes with waist extenders or belly bands.

What they don’t say: Using clothing modification methods work for an hour or so, but if you’re moving around or sitting still for too long, the stretchy band that covers and holds up your unbuttoned pants may shift and render the thing useless. Your friends and coworkers may be too nice to mention to your face if your zipper fly is visibly down for half the morning, so do yourself a favor a look down to conduct a self-evaluation every time you stand up.

Interpersonal Space
What they say: Your older child and/or your dogs may enjoy spending more time with you as they bond with their sibling in the womb. (Ok, this may not really be in a book!)

What they don’t say: Your kids and furry kids will follow you around the house and want to be touching you at all times. Get used to increased lack of privacy, as well as hands and dog paws resting on your growing belly. They may even want to sit on top of your stomach to be THAT close.

Nesting Spurts
What they say: You may have the urge to clean and organize.

What they don’t say: You may have just enough energy to WANT to do some nesting projects, but really, you just want to sit on the couch. Your husband may pick up where you left off, organizing the entire nursery and getting around to moving the couches from the family room to the basement like you have wanted to do for so long. But you may not have the motivation to refinish or design the now-empty family room, and you probably won’t really care too much.

What they say: Your pelvic floor may be weakened during pregnancy.

What they don’t say: You may need to frequent the gym bathroom if the workout-of-the-day (WOD) includes any jumps. Especially double unders. It may be wise to invest in leakage protection.


All joking aside, I am enjoying this pregnancy so much more than my first. I worry less, I’m (sorta) eating better, and I’m sleeping well.

Tonight, after several hugs and belly-attention, Wesley said, “Mama, I just want to make sure my sister is going to be strong like me.” He and Steven are looking out for us ladies well. Almost half way there!

Posted: March 16th, 2018
Categories: Leah
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Baby Name Reveal 2

So here we are. Since announcing our news, I’ve felt like it’s become more real. I’m just barely considered “advanced maternal age” for this pregnancy, but also given family conditions, I was asked to consider genetic screening. At 11ish weeks, I had a chromosomal blood test which came back low-risk. They were also able to tell us the gender of this baby: GIRL!

I’m to follow up semi-regularly at the high-risk OB so they can keep close tabs on little girl in this so-called geriatric body. I’ve already had two ultrasounds, and we have our upcoming 20-week ultrasound later this month – which will take approximately one hour. At that appointment, they’ll check each organ to make sure everything looks ship-shape. It’s comical to me to be considered old high-risk when my doctor isn’t even slightly concerned about our health (post test results). I don’t mind the extra attention, however, and it’s fun to see the baby more often.

13 weeks 4 days

Steven and I went to a childbirth refresher class a few weeks ago. It was designed for people like us who need some reminders because it’s been several years since the last go-around. I was surprised at how much has changed in hospital procedure and found the class really helpful. Steven was such a tease the entire evening and made me chuckle with nervous laughter. He is so good at calming my ridiculous fears and making me smile.

Testing out the peanut ball in childbirth class!

The majority of the time, we’re excited and anticipating the sweetness of the change. The boys especially. Other times, panic sets in and I start to doubt myself: can I do this? How could I possibly love this child as much as I love my first? How does this affect my professional life? Can I get back into shape after she’s born?

I’ve been so much more tired than I remember with Wesley, and baby brain has already set in. I’ve made so many ridiculous decisions that are now embarrassing to admit. I am sappy and cry easily, and the boys hide their giggles while trying to console me. “The baby is making you cry again, huh, Mama?”

Thankfully I am surrounded by people, including Steven and Wes, who are thrilled and encouraging. My favorite reactions have been from our immediate family: shock followed by total delight. All three of our nieces are excited to have another girl around.

Besides fatigue and hormone-craziness, I feel great. I’m kicking rear-end in my fitness classes and still achieving personal records. I hope to maintain this stamina as long as I can – my goal is up through 36 weeks. So far, things have been easy for us. And one of the easiest things was selecting baby girl’s name.

We had a running list of girl names when planning one for Wesley, so we went back to the start. Steven actually picked the names this time; he knew as soon as we confirmed my pregnancy. To go along with the nautical-themed nursery, this child needed a similar themed name.

Maisie Gale.

Maisie was a top favorite of mine if Wesley was a girl, and Steven gravitated to it. I love its cuteness that can grow into maturity. It means “pearl.” I particularly like Jacqueline Winspear’s Maisie Dobbs series – the main character is generous, humble and persistent. I started reading this series while on our honeymoon and have followed Maisie throughout her journey from poverty to WW1 to self-employment. Our Maisie is our pearl in which we hope will become a loving member of her future community.

Gale is the spelling we chose to reflect ocean winds, hence the nautical theme. It means “joy of the father” and “pleasant, merry.” A gale is a forceful wind, too, so a little bit of independence in her personality may be expected.

Steven’s initial reaction when I showed him a positive pregnancy test was a large, goofy smile. When we learned the gender, he chanted “Maisie Gale” around the house and made us all laugh. This baby is dearly loved and known by her father.

Though we didn’t expect her arrival, she is most welcome and anticipated. You’re loved, Maisie Gale!

Our niece, Elli, created this painting after hearing her gender and name


Posted: March 4th, 2018
Categories: Leah
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Love is Patient

I didn’t get a clever Christmas card put together in time this year, and surprisingly, I’ve heard from several people about it. Patience. I had ideas for what it might entail: a 10-year collage of past Christmas card fronts (or randomly mailing one of 10 “retro” versions of past cards), a Shattuck version of The Night Before Christmas poem. But I just didn’t have the energy or motivation to design and assemble it. Then I thought we might just send a Happy New Year card, and that came and went, too.

We didn’t forget about you or lose your address. And we do have news to share, so Valentine’s Day seems pretty appropriate to announce our annual family update.

Steven, Chief Engagement Officer at Bloomerang, had another year of speaking engagements across the U.S. He nearly earned his Southwest A-List status again (one trip short). He speaks at conferences to audiences about donor retention, fundraising success and constituent engagement for not-for-profits. Steven co-wrote two chapters in a new textbook, Fundraising Principles and Practice, which was published in March 2017. He and Wesley have their weekly activities they participate in together, including tennis lessons and Cub Scouts. They also are partners in crime in solving video game puzzles – finishing both Zelda: Breath of the Wild and Super Mario Odyssey. In warmer months, Steven cycles to work via the Fall Creek Trail and Fort Harrison State Park, and he is increasingly interested in clean eating and brewing kombucha.

I, Communications Director at Alzheimer’s Association Greater Indiana Chapter, started regularly attending a Crossfit gym in April for low-weight/high-rep training, mixed with cardio and gymnastics workouts. Though I don’t plan to graduate to “real” Crossfit with power lifting, I have enjoyed being a part of an encouraging community. I feel good and am stronger than I’ve ever been. I also regularly sing on the worship team at Trinity Church, which is such a blessing and immensely fun. I hope to read and paint more than last year, and found that I enjoy dabbling in yard work (when it’s not so overwhelming).

In August, we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in Chicago. We saw Aladdin on Broadway and visited the Field Museum for the first time. We also had our first-ever family photos taken in October, and I wore my 10-year-old rehearsal dinner dress.

Wesley, Kindergartner, is a bright, clever and sweet 6-year-old. He is well-liked by kids in his class and his teachers. Because he is inclusive, he has many friends and a few close ones. He is a leader and role model, but he sometimes has trouble with dictating and tattling. And when it comes to peer pressure, he follows – even if he knows better. But he’s excelling in school, learning to read and write in Spanish AND English. He’s lost two teeth, loves Star Wars, Power Rangers and even (still!) Octonauts. Going on bike rides with the family is one of his favorite things to do, and he loves to hang out with us and friends. He’s such a gem.

Jake, 12-year-old Italian Greyhound, and Lucy, 8-year-old lab-pit mutt, are lazier than ever. Jake continues to have terrible breath and rotten teeth, so I finally introduced him to soft food and chewy treats. Lucy wishes she could have them, too. She found yet another spot in the fence that’s loose, so she frequently explores beyond our fence line. Lucy can’t stand to be left alone too long, so we never worry that she won’t return to the back door. They’re both going gray.

The House hasn’t undergone too many updates or exciting improvement projects this year. We spruced up the guest room with a new headboard, mattress and lighting. The rickety mailbox finally got replaced with a sturdy new one. We planted a few arborvitae in the side yard and started a pollinator garden. The living room gained a new club chair, plant stand and greenery. I think the biggest project was installing new interior doors for the upstairs bedrooms. Still on the list: bathroom remodels, kitchen back splash and paint, basement flooring.

Baby Shattuck was quite the surprise at the end of 2017, and probably the reason I didn’t have motivation to create Christmas cards in time! She (yes, girl! Stay tuned for further info.) will be joining the family in mid August – right around our niece’s birthday and our wedding anniversary. After an initial period of shock and panic, we spent the long winter break warming to the idea of another family member in this house. We’ve enjoyed our small trio family, but if you know much about me, I used to grieve for another child. Patience. After much prayer and reconciliation, I have found peace and happiness with my two boys. Even so, Steven and I were planning to explore fostering and possibly adoption soon, and those plans are now on hold. What a change in plans!

We attended the first ultrasound together, and Wes was able to meet my OB doctor; the doc who delivered him has since retired. I feel so much different than the first pregnancy, but as I enter the second trimester, I feel less nauseous and more “normal.” Except food is just a nuisance. Aversions, spontaneous hunger followed by uncomfortable fullness, ugh. And so many pimples! But I can continue to work out, of which I’m grateful.

Wesley is thrilled to pieces, and he has been very sweet and interested in learning how the baby grows each week. In yet another lesson in patience, he’s learning to wait. And how the period of waiting can make you frustrated and yet grow in love and joy. He thinks it’s been fun to have a family secret, and now that we’re gradually telling people, he sometimes gets protective. “Only FAMILY MEMBERS can know, Mama!”

The nesting period has already begun; Steven has helped me make an inventory of what baby items we still have, cleared out space for the nursery, and Wes helped me put together the crib I scored on Craiglist for $35. (We will likely be asking to borrow your gear!) And while I was on a business trip, they found cute prints to hang on the walls, had them framed and hung before I returned home.

Frankly, we Shattucks are glad 2017 has past, which wasn’t the best of years. We have so much to anticipate, do(!) and look forward to in 2018, and we wish you a lovely year. Please stay in touch, and come visit us soon!

(Remember this? The Sequel releases Summer 2018.)

Posted: February 7th, 2018
Categories: Leah
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I Am the 1%

Here’s the long-awaited “working mother” post. I’ve avoided this topic, mostly, because I don’t fit in. I enjoy working. “Wait, what?! Don’t you have a kid?”

Facebook is great. I like keeping up with people and seeing photos of families and hearing of news that I probably wouldn’t otherwise. It also opens up all kinds of silent judgments, and for that, I often contemplate pulling back from social media. I don’t want to, so I don’t, but it comes to mind more often than not. Usually it just means I hide certain types of posts and be done with it. I know I still have that new-mom grace period so I’m allowed to post a kajillion photos of Wes everywhere, but I also wonder how many people have hidden ME because of it. Posts about wanting to stay home with children but can’t, posts about kids growing up too fast – all that – I just don’t fit in.

Maybe it’s because I have a job that challenges me and keeps me craving more. Maybe it’s because I love my coworkers. Maybe it’s because I’m working for a fantastic mission in the face of a cold and scary national reality. Maybe it’s because it’s pretty much my dream job. Well, I’m sure it’s all of these things to an extent, but the fact is, when I was pregnant, I didn’t think I would want to stay home fulltime. I had many people tell me I would change my mind, but I haven’t. Sometimes I feel guilty about it. Will Wes think I love my job more than him one day? Will it make me a worse mom?

Yes, my job is overwhelming at times. 2012 is my busiest year yet. Throw in a new logo design and launch, and you don’t have nails for the year. And yes, I am truly looking forward to family vacation in September and my dear friend Jordan’s wedding next weekend. They keep me going. Knowing that I have so much to look forward to keeps my pace. But I still don’t believe I would trade it for staying home. It’s possible my life may change, and I may look back on these times and think Past Me is crazy for not being home. And that will be another windy post.

While I’m on the podium, I’m also “weird” in the fact that I’m just not in love with the infancy stage of life. I know it’s supposed to be some of the best years – watching tiny people grow into little people in just a short year. Since Month 6, we’ve had much better sleep and a much happier baby, but I’m ready for him to do toddler things. GASP. I know, I probably will regret saying that in the near future. I don’t want to wish away his life, either, so I’m savoring what I can each day. But honestly, mothering babies is so competitive. Women are the worst, most judgmental people in the universe. And I know I struggle with envy of nice, rounded heads filled with hair on a mobile baby. Why does it even matter? ALL KIDS GET HAIR. MOST KIDS WALK. It’s not like Wes has a terminal illness. I am blessed to have THE cutest and most expressive kid on the planet (Mothers: judge away). And more seriously, I am blessed to have Wes at all.

All my needless worries about hitting developmental milestones melt away when I slap myself back to reality. Too many of my friends are facing some sort of fertility, pregnancy or special needs battle. And again, Facebook opens up a world of knowledge I wouldn’t know about people otherwise. Through social media, my heart aches even MORE for people dreaming and praying for strong, healthy children and mothers. How can I be so thoughtless?

I am the 1%. I’m weird and like working. I’m ready to tackle “terrible threes” (yes, I know it’s supposed to be “two,” but frankly, 3 is harder!). And I feel like the lone person in the world who doesn’t know how to best comfort and console a hurting, wounded or barren woman. However, I do know the immeasurable power of prayer, and you’d better believe my list is growing.

Posted: May 6th, 2012
Categories: Leah
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Comments: 3 Comments.

Scar Tissue

This week alone, I’ve learned that four of my friends are pregnant. Some second pregnancies, other first. I’ve also learned of a rare neurological diagnosis that another friend is trying to process and understand for her little 3-week-old.

In the last year, my thoughts and opinions about family-raising have shifted up and down and around again. Steven said to me after hearing the news of one of the pregnancies and beaming from ear-to-ear, “this time last year you would’ve been sad.” He’s right.  I used to think that welcoming a child into the world either meant saying goodbye to the new baby’s parents (I call them hermits.) or learning of another very sick mother or child struggling through each day. And each new baby would remind me of my other friends who are unable to have children for whatever reason, and my heart would continue to ache.

The day my sister had the gender ultrasound with my nephew, I couldn’t wait for the phone call to celebrate the life of a new boy or girl. I called her a million times that day, but she didn’t pick up. I knew something was off. Calling Dad, he said, “Well, it’s a little boy.” No real excitement in his voice. “But he has some issues.”

Finally my sister called me while I was at Bible study. She told me our nephew had spina bifida and was unable to bend his legs. He would likely have mobility and other difficulties. That week was one of the hardest to accept. I knew God had a plan, but it was a confusing one.

Months later, we went to Cincinatti to celebrate our niece’s birthday. When she opened the door, I immediately noticed her shirt, saying, “Big Sister!” We were thrilled to find out another niece was on the way. After a few weeks, our sister-in-law became very sick and found out both of her kidneys had failed. The baby was fine, but Kelly would need to be on dialysis immediately for several days a week until a transplant was available.

Thankfully, through prayers and God’s grace, both our nephew, Jeremiah, and niece, Anna, are healthy, beautiful children. Jeremiah is a charming, sweet kid who is not defined by his diagnosis. At 18 months, he’s learned to pull himself to a standing position without much feeling below his waist. Anna was born prematurely at 31 weeks and 3 lbs, but you would never know it now. We just celebrated her first birthday. And just this week, Kelly was given a new kidney by a gracious donor and friend!

I cannot say I don’t have scar tissue built up from watching my loved ones worry, pray frantically and wonder about the unknown future. Perhaps this is why I’ve been so hesitant to be fully happy for my friends becoming new parents. Of course, it’s wonderful for new life to be brought into this world, but I hate to see so much pain involved. I don’t understand much of the Lord’s will, but I do know this: Children are a positively wonderful gift – even when you watch them make temporary homes in specialized hospitals, your love for them soars.

This year is different. I won’t be half-praying for these ladies and their growing bellies. I’ll be thinking, celebrating and praying for each of them in sickness and in health.  And remembering that God is gracious, perfect and never gives us more than we can’t handle.

Posted: September 18th, 2011
Categories: Leah
Comments: 2 Comments.

Welcome home, GrumpFace!

Beware, this is likely to be a rather winded post. End disclaimer.

Wesley Matthew


Waiting for Wesley to arrive was a little difficult, only because I was so far progressed. If you read past posts, you knew that I was 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced at my 40-week appointment. Doc was convinced I was delivering over the weekend, but we scheduled an induction for Monday morning if that didn’t happen. To pass the time, we went to see Harry Potter 7.2 the day after D Day (thank you, Wes! That shows your love for me.) and walked around the mall and downtown to encourage his arrival.

That evening, I started having mild but regular contractions that lasted all night long, preventing me from sleeping much at all. Waking up on Saturday morning, they had completely stopped. Not fair. Disappointed and hot, we just stayed in on Saturday, thinking that labor was imminent. I had a similar night with regular contractions to keep me up, only to have them stop Sunday morning. I was so tired and bummed that we just skipped church and watched bad TV all day. After dinner and ice cream with my parents, I was anticipating another evening like the last two, but the contractions only got stronger and longer. We were already scheduled for an induction at 6 a.m., so we headed to the hospital, taking bets on how far dilated I had become.

After checking in and signing paperwork in between contractions, the nurse announced with disbelief that I was a whopping 6 cm and completely effaced. She said, “I guess we won’t be needing Pitocin for you!” She brought in my doc, who was pleased that I had waited until he was available to deliver this baby. Doc said I would have a baby in my arms by 11 a.m., and my response was, “Awesome! I can eat lunch!”

I got an epidural about an hour after arriving at the hospital, and within another hour and a half, I was already pushing. I was super blessed to only have to do 40 minutes of actual pushing – feeling very little pain or pressure. In fact, once Doc came in to deliver Wes, I only had 2 major pushes. He decided to arrive with a bang, and I remember seeing an entire body escape at what seemed like 20 mph – leaving all the nurses dumbfounded at how fast he came into this world.

Wesley Matthew was born at 10:39 a.m. on July 18, 2011. He weighed 8 lbs, 0.4 oz and was 20″. He looks a little like me, but is a healthy mixture of both of our mothers’ sides of their families. He’s got a cute little old man scowl, which I’ve affectionately nicknamed GrumpFace.

Lucy greets Wes for the first time


Jake and Lucy have been rock star dog-sibilings! I was overly anxious about how they would react to him, but as Steven usually says, I was being unreasonable. They were anticipating something great was about to happen, and their welcoming licks and kisses just about made my heart melt.

Wesley is part of the pack. Jake has already claimed his legs & feet for lounging upon, and he repeatedly shares my lap with Wes as he’s feeding. Lucy lays down next to him during tummy time. She loves to watch him through the rungs of the bassinet while he’s sleeping. And there is no lack of doggie kisses! They both give his feet some lovin’ whenever they get a chance.

The next step is attempting a walk with the entire family. This has yet to be accomplished since it’s been so freakishly hot and humid. Once it gets below 95 degrees, perhaps we’ll be able to make use of our awesome jogging stroller!

My little rhino


I gave birth to a champ. He’s super strong, a great eater and has allowed us to sleep 4-5 consecutive hours for 3 nights in a row. (Fingers crossed it stays this way!) I’m increasingly amazed at how natural it is to care for a little human. I may not be doing everything I should be doing, but he doesn’t know any better and probably doesn’t even care. Obviously he’s content – proven by the fact that he has a slight smirk on his sleeping face at the moment.

The visits with friends and family have been great. Everyone loves this little guy! We have some wonderful people in our lives. I’ve definitely felt the affects of all the prayers given to us. Our week has been nothing but fun and special. We are blessed!

If you’d like to see more photos of Wes, his big first day and beyond, visit Steven’s flickr. I’m sure we’ll be updating it frequently as he grows and changes. We have a son!


Posted: July 22nd, 2011
Categories: Leah
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Comments: 2 Comments.

Dear Wesley (a pep talk)

Jake & Lucy waiting patiently

Dear Wesley,

I know you’re officially only 2 days “late,” and it must be nice and warm, comfortable and entertaining with all the gurgles and whooshing sounds surrounding you. I promise, however, it’s very nice out here in the world, and your father and I are so looking forward to introducing you all kinds of new discoveries out here.

Admittedly, I’m a little cranky this morning because I didn’t sleep well. It’s not your fault, I know, but mild, intermittent contractions for 12 hours last night got me excited that you were on your way. When they stopped suddenly this morning, I was disappointed that I would have to wait longer to see you and hold your tiny little hands.

We may have to wait until Monday to look upon your face, but I thought I’d give you once last little nudge to see if today or Sunday might be a possibility. Think about it, but don’t force yourself into something that will harm you.

You are loved tremendously already; I can only imagine how that love will grow when we finally have the chance to snuggle, laugh and grow with you!

Love, Mom

Posted: July 16th, 2011
Categories: Leah
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D Day

I woke up this morning thinking my water had broken overnight. You know, this is the first time I’ve ever been pregnant, so I really didn’t know what to expect. Since today is the official due date, I had an appointment scheduled in the late afternoon anyway, but my doc wanted to see me earlier to check out if the sac had indeed broken. FALSE ALARM. Who knows what it was – perhaps Wes’ head is just sitting on my bladder too well, or maybe I was really hot? Gross. Either way, no baby on D Day.

However, the good news is that I’m now 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced. Wes has dropped considerably lower at -1, so all that galloping around the house yesterday must have done its work! Doc says I should deliver this baby at any time! Wahoo! He said he’d be surprised if I was still pregnant come Monday.

After all my hesitations about preterm, convenient “elective” inductions, I don’t feel so badly about having an induction scheduled for Monday morning if Wesley doesn’t arrive before then. It eases my mind that Doc feels confident I’ll labor fairly soon, and since I’ll be postterm on Monday, an induction doesn’t scare me as much. If Monday rolls around and I’m still pregnant, at least I tried to deliver on my own. I’m not giving up hope just yet.

When my mom was pregnant with my older sister, her water broke just after sharing a dozen donuts and a pot of coffee with my dad. We stopped at Hart Bakery on the way home from my appointment, and I’m now enjoying my 3rd donut and second cup of coffee of the day. No shame.

  • Heartbeat, Measurements, Blood Pressure: Mine was up to the 140s today because of sheer nervousness!
  • Weight Gain: Lost a pound!
  • Movement: Still going strong. I had a stress test completed today, and Wes’ movements looked great. In fact, Doc says, “this is a beautiful baby.”
  • Dilation: 4 cm, 80% effaced, -1
  • Cravings: Fruit smoothies. We’ve been making quite a few with our new Ninja food processor.
  • Moods: Yesterday I was totally bummed there wasn’t a baby in my arms. Today I’m excited that there might be a baby in my arms within a few days.
  • Biggest Gripe: Water didn’t break. I have to admit I just probably had, well, an accident.
  • Biggest Like: Excitement is growing around us. Everyone is thrilled to meet Wesley!
Posted: July 14th, 2011
Categories: Leah
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Comments: 2 Comments.

Enter hormonal breakdown

You know how they say all brides have their breakdown day? Mine didn’t come until I was actually walking down the isle with my father. (Ask anyone who came to the wedding – they couldn’t even look at me without tearing up!) They don’t talk about breakdowns much for new moms. Hormones, postpartum blues, yes, but I’ve seen very little in pregnancy books on days when nothing seems to go correctly and you enter an exaggerated, ridiculous state-of-mind. I’m actually glad I allowed myself to reach this point prior to being in the hospital, but let’s just say I’ve seen better days.

The morning was actually pretty good. It was my first day working from home. I made a fruit smoothie and felt very proud of myself. I reply to emails in pjs. I took a shower – washed my hair, even – and got dressed as I would any other day. After doing as much as I could for work, I cleaned for a couple hours and allowed myself a nap. At this point, it was a good day.

I went to my follow up appointment this afternoon, which is where the trouble started. Remember my last post? I had made up my mind that I wasn’t going ahead with the “convenience induction.” I wrote it out to secure my decision. Well, after meeting with my doc today, the option was brought to the surface again. I have a killer Bishop score of 9, which says that things are progressing well enough that if induced on Wednesday, I would likely labor normally and have a baby by the end of the day. I honestly wouldn’t even consider doing this if not for the fact that my doc is ONLY on call this Wednesday during this week and won’t be again until NEXT Wednesday.

I am so torn: I feel like this is just a morality decision at this point. Meaning, Wesley comes under my terms, not my body’s or God’s… all for the sake of delivery with the doctor that I’ve known and trusted for these long months. Enter: hormonal breakdown.

I’m on the schedule for 6am, Wednesday, July 13, 2011, for an induction. I have until morning to decide if I want to cancel. I hate that I can’t have it both ways. I would love for my doc to deliver Wesley, but the chances of that happening if I labor normally are slim. Steven says it’s up to me, and that this decision is likely to be the easiest and most trivial one in all of Wesley’s life; however, he agrees with me on the hesitation for an induction based solely on convenience.

So, here we are. I’ve run out of tissues, and toliet paper is just gross and gets soggy too fast. I’m over being irrationally nervous about this decision, and I don’t want to waste the rest of my evening biting my nails. Likely I will call and cancel in the morning, but I do have the next several hours to really think about this. Perhaps Tuesday will be the Day Of Self-Induction Techniques and old wives’ tales so that my doc can deliver this baby!

Posted: July 11th, 2011
Categories: Leah
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Comments: 6 Comments.

T-Minus One Week

Wow. Hard to believe that he could be here at any time. I’m currently blogging during my second-to-last lunch break at work. Come Monday, I’ll be working from home until Little Guy decides to show up. It really has passed quickly. I have little to complain about, though I still do complain at times, and I admit when I’m in a grouchy mood. I’ve had ZERO stretch marks, no nausea, my nose hasn’t gotten wider (thank goodness), and I’ve lost my love handles. Wesley is a big boy, but he’s decided to stretch out all in front of me, so I hardly look pregnant from behind – that is, if I’m not waddle-walking. I’d call this pregnancy a success.

I saw Jody this morning, and things are progressing normally. In fact, they offered me an induction date of July 13 if I’d like to take it. My cervix is very favorable at this point, and they truly think I’d labor well if given an induction. After talking to my husband, my mom and mother-in-law, I think I will pass. I’ve heard scary stories about long labors leading to c-sections because the body just wasn’t quite ready for birth. Since I’m already under way, I’m preparing myself to just let my body do its thing. Yes, it could be a week longer than anticipated, but I think it’s for the best for me. Whew. I’m glad I wrote that down. Sealed the deal.

I go back to the doc on Monday to see if anything changes over the weekend. Here goes nothing!

  • Heartbeat, Measurements, Blood Pressure: A-OK.
  • Weight Gain: Another pound, for Pete’s sake. That makes total weight gain close to 40 whopping pounds.
  • Movement: Less room for him this week, but he’s still moving. In fact, he moved his rear end completely to the other side of my uterus last night. How is that even possible? I swear he’s 23-25″ long for how much space he takes up!
  • Dilation: 3 cm, 75% effaced! Moving right along.
  • Cravings: Fruit popsicle bars. Especially strawberry with the little seeds.
  • Moods: Surreal, pensive and in awe of this whole process. God truly designed a very special body that can handle amazing things.
  • Biggest Gripe: Sleep is getting harder, and I’m sweating more. And don’t forget those dang swollen feet.
  • Biggest Like: Excitement and anticipation is much better than I expected. I really thought I would be panicky up until this point, but the birth of Beatrice has helped better align my thoughts. I see John & Julia become parents overnight, and they are doing wonderfully. Still so, so thankful that we have close friends who live just around the corner going through the same life changes. They are truly in love with their little Bebe, and it makes me excited to finally meet our son. OUR SON. Wow.
Posted: July 7th, 2011
Categories: Leah
Tags: ,
Comments: 1 Comment.

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